I have so very many blog posts spinning around in my head. That's what happens when you don't blog for months at a time, I suppose. So, the best cure for that, I suppose, would be to pick something and talk about it, huh?
Ok, here goes.
So I'm leading our women's bible study this year as we work through Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself (a study of the fruit of the Spirit). I cannot tell you what a blessing this has been for me.
Our bible study is an ecumenical group sponsored by our church. The women are of all ages and stages of life, and we meet once a week on Wednesday mornings for prayer and study. We have a wonderful leader who does all the organizational tasks for the group and leads our prayer time, but usually we've taken turns -- on a week by week basis -- leading the discussions.
This summer a small committee consisting of myself, our leader Barbara, and another woman named Evelyn (who is one of the godliest women I know) were charged with choosing what we would study this academic year. We had decided we were going to spend the first 6 weeks on a study of prayer led by Barbara, and then had narrowed our choices for the remainder of the year down to either the Beth Moore study OR a study on the book of James. We decided to each spend time doing the studies and praying for God's direction and then meet again to make a decision. I spent time with both studies and prayed and prayed for God to reveal which one we should do. I got no answers. Not an inkling of direction about which one we should do. What I did get was this very quiet feeling that if we chose the Beth Moore study, I should lead the discussions.
At first I didn't trust that it was even from God -- how could He ask me to do this? I had my hands absolutely full juggling two part-time jobs and a family, I didn't need another responsibility right now. But the more I prayed about it, the more sure I became that this is what God was saying to me. Then the insecurities began: Who am I to think that they would even want me to lead every week? Many of those women already have to deal with me leading worship at church, they're probably sick to death of me! Who do I think I am, anyway? But God was insistent: IF we decided to do the Beth Moore study, I at least needed to volunteer to lead it.
So, eventually the three of us gathered at Barbara's house to make our decision. After prayer and some discussion of other logistical issues, Barbara posed the question: did we know which study we should do? I sat perfectly still, not about to utter a word. Didn't have to -- Evelyn immediately responded with, "Well, I do! We're supposed to do Beth Moore - the fruit of the Spirit." I winced. (I really did!) And then I muttered, almost begrudgingly, "Well, you should know that God told me if we did this study I was supposed to lead it." Almost immediately tears sprang into Evelyn's eyes. Turns out that as God revealed to her that we should do the Beth Moore study, he also put it on her heart to pray that someone would volunteer to lead it. Now if that ain't the Holy Spirit at work, I just don't know what is.
Needless to say, I was now committed to leading this study. Which was all well and good, because after all, God had gone to some lengths to orchestrate the whole thing and I felt pretty certain He was up to something. But still, I was now going to have to actually lead the bible study. And that meant time and effort and energy to prepare and all that stuff that I didn't think I had any extra of, right?
And that's where the real miracle happens. Because I started praying right away -- and so did Barbara and Evelyn, thank goodness -- that God would equip me to do what He had called me to do. I told God right from the start that this was His idea and I was happy to go along with it, but He would have to just do it through me.
And, let me just tell you, that's exactly what He did. Now usually I'm not so good at getting out of God's way and letting Him do His thing -- I usually like to get right in there with my own little schemes and plans and quickly relegate Him to offering occasional wise counsel and emergency rescue. But, in this particular case, He really didn't give me any choice in the matter. This was His plan and He would see it through.
And, ladies and gentlemen, I have never been so blessed. Never once has this felt like a burden. The time I have spent studying the lessons has been transformational. And the time I've spent preparing to lead the discussion has been nothing but rewarding. Every single week God has directed me so clearly as to what we should discuss and how we should spend our time. It's been such a precious time of hearing and discerning His voice -- and practicing obedience to it. It hasn't been stressful, it hasn't been exhausting, it hasn't been taxing. In fact, it's been just the opposite: it's been refreshing, exhilirating, sometimes even downright fun. Now, this doesn't mean that every discussion has gone perfectly well or been a complete success. Not at all. But God has taken my somewhat reluctant willingness to be obedient in this small matter, and given me back so much more than I could have ever hoped or dreamed.
Jesus says, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11: 30) This isn't to say that everything God asks of you is going to be a piece of cake -- or that you won't suffer. After all, Jesus also says, "Take up your cross and follow Me." But it is to say this: submission to God's plan brings immeasurable joy, blessing, freedom and peace. I want to keep doing what God asks me to do -- keep saying "yes!" to God--because I want to know in the rest of my life the peaceful rest in God's leadership and provision that I've experienced in leading this bible study . I know, oh how well do I know, what happens when I say "no" to God. And this, my friends, this peace in acknowledging the authority of God, no matter how much it costs, is just so much better.
Showing posts with label God is so good. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God is so good. Show all posts
Monday, February 18, 2008
Friday, July 20, 2007
He Leadeth Me...O Blessed Thought!
Monday morning found me feeling scattered. After an absolutely wonderful weekend (more about that later) I had a messy house, a huge pile of laundry and a to-do list a mile long with no idea where to start. For a number of reasons, I was feeling distant from God and frustrated with myself. After going through the motions of doing my bible study, I got in the shower and started to tell God how I was feeling: I had let Him down (again) and while I knew in my head He loved me, I didn't really feel it in my heart that morning. I confessed some specific sins and then, feeling kind of sorry for myself, asked God if he would just reveal himself in some way to me that morning.
I got out of the shower, got dressed, and was in the bathroom getting ready when I realized I was humming. At first not sure what tune it was, I started to sing the words. To my surprise, this is what I was singing: "He leadeth me, he leadeth me, by his own hand he leadeth me; his faithful foll'wer I would be, for by his hand he leadeth me." At first I couldn't figure out how I'd gotten that hymn in my head, until suddenly I was overcome with the realization that God had answered my prayer by literally putting a song in my heart! I immediately dropped to my knees right there in the bathroom and thanked God for his overwhelmingly tender and personal love for me. Then I went downstairs, got out my hymnal and sang the whole hymn back to God in praise.
I got out of the shower, got dressed, and was in the bathroom getting ready when I realized I was humming. At first not sure what tune it was, I started to sing the words. To my surprise, this is what I was singing: "He leadeth me, he leadeth me, by his own hand he leadeth me; his faithful foll'wer I would be, for by his hand he leadeth me." At first I couldn't figure out how I'd gotten that hymn in my head, until suddenly I was overcome with the realization that God had answered my prayer by literally putting a song in my heart! I immediately dropped to my knees right there in the bathroom and thanked God for his overwhelmingly tender and personal love for me. Then I went downstairs, got out my hymnal and sang the whole hymn back to God in praise.
He leadeth me, O blessed thought!It was, of course, precisely the message I needed to hear that morning. I left the hymnal open to that page all day as a reminder, and I let God lead me from one task to another all day. Things I thought were top priority slipped quietly to the bottom of the list and I spent a great deal of time playing with my boys, listening to friends who needed to talk--I even took a 20 minute nap. By the end of the day, however, somehow my house was in order and by mid-week I had accomplished everything on my list without stress and before it needed to be done.
O words with heav'nly comfort fraught!
Whate'er I do, where-e'er I be,
still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me.
He leadeth me, He leadeth me,
by His own hand He leadeth me;
His faithful foll'wer I would be,
for by his hand He leadeth me.
My enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD
for he has been good to me.
Psalm 13:4-6
Sunday, July 1, 2007
King Over the Flood...and the Worship Service
One of the blessings of being a worship leader is seeing how God uses the songs we sing on a particular Sunday to speak to certain individuals and situations. I do see my role as pastoral and consider it part of my job to have a feel for what's happening in the lives of people in our congregation, so sometimes I am a conscious part of this process. More often than not, however, I'm as surprised as anyone at how God has orchestrated the perfect set of music for a certain situation.
Today was one of those days. Right before the service started I had two conversations. One was with the new pastoral intern for family discipleship our church recently hired. She and her husband had driven from Chicago yesterday and moved into their apartment last night; she was being introduced to the congregation today. She admitted she was very nervous and I could see the anxiety on her face: this was the congregation she would be serving for the next year and she had never been to a service or met any of our people. The second conversation was with a dear friend of mine who's in the midst of a very chaotic and stressful time in her life--and things were coming to a head this weekend. When I asked how she was doing, she couldn't even answer.
As the service started and we began to lift up the Almighty God in worship, I could see both women begin to relax as they let go of their own situations and focused on the awesome qualities of their Heavenly Father. And then we started to sing "Still" by Reuben Morgan:
Before this morning, I would not have been able to give you a compelling reason for why I chose to do that song this week. As I watched my friend sing, with tears streaming down her face, I was overcome with thankfulness to God for working through my choices to speak to her so powerfully today.
Immediately after this song, we went into a time of sharing and praying together as a congregation. The leader of our women's bible study stood up and shared, through sobs, that their family had suffered a tragic and sudden death this week. After a time of praying together, what was the hymn we had already planned to sing?
Isn't God good?
Today was one of those days. Right before the service started I had two conversations. One was with the new pastoral intern for family discipleship our church recently hired. She and her husband had driven from Chicago yesterday and moved into their apartment last night; she was being introduced to the congregation today. She admitted she was very nervous and I could see the anxiety on her face: this was the congregation she would be serving for the next year and she had never been to a service or met any of our people. The second conversation was with a dear friend of mine who's in the midst of a very chaotic and stressful time in her life--and things were coming to a head this weekend. When I asked how she was doing, she couldn't even answer.
As the service started and we began to lift up the Almighty God in worship, I could see both women begin to relax as they let go of their own situations and focused on the awesome qualities of their Heavenly Father. And then we started to sing "Still" by Reuben Morgan:
Hide me now, under Your wings.
Cover me within Your mighty hand.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with You above the storm.
Father, You are King over the flood.
I will be still and know You are God.
Find rest my soul in Christ alone.
Know His pow'r in quietness and trust.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with You above the storm.
Father, You are King over the flood.
I will be still and know You are God.
Before this morning, I would not have been able to give you a compelling reason for why I chose to do that song this week. As I watched my friend sing, with tears streaming down her face, I was overcome with thankfulness to God for working through my choices to speak to her so powerfully today.
Immediately after this song, we went into a time of sharing and praying together as a congregation. The leader of our women's bible study stood up and shared, through sobs, that their family had suffered a tragic and sudden death this week. After a time of praying together, what was the hymn we had already planned to sing?
Abide with me--fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens--Lord, with me abide;
when other helpers fail and comforts flee,
help of the helpless, oh, abide with me.
Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away;
change and decay in all around I see;
O Lord who changes not, abide with me.
I need your presence ev'ry passing hour;
what but your grace can foil the tempter's pow'r?
Who like yourself my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, oh, abide with me.
I fear no foe, with you at hand to bless;
ills have no weight and tears no bitterness;
where is death's sting? Where, grave, your victory?
I triumph still if you abide with me.
Hold now your cross before my closing eyes;
shine thro' the gloom and point me to the skies;
heav'n's morning breaks and earth's vain shadows flee;
in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.
Isn't God good?
Sunday, June 17, 2007
On Lying and Forgiveness
Our almost four-year-old has started lying. I know in my head that this is a typical development at this age--and just another manifestation of his sin nature--but wow, I wasn't prepared for how unnerving it would be to watch my beloved son look me straight in the eyes and tell a boldface lie without even a flinch.
Yesterday I walked into the dining room to see the blinds raised all the way to the top. We never leave them this way, so I asked Drew if he had been playing with the blinds (he knows he is not supposed to do this). "No," he responded, casually, "I didn't do it." I questioned him again but he stuck to his story. Now, there are only four people in our family: I knew I hadn't done it, it certainly wasn't the baby, and a quick trip upstairs to check in with daddy confirmed he was innocent as well. I confronted Drew with this logic. His only response: "I don't know, Mommy. I didn't do it."
Now I could really care less about the blinds. We have a rule and try to keep it consistent for safety reasons, but had he admitted his guilt at the first question, I probably would have simply reminded him the blinds were off-limits and left it at that.
Lying, on the other hand, is another deal altogether. So I stood him in front of me, told him I knew he was lying and that lying was not tolerated in this family, and then said that he would need to go to his room until he was ready to tell me the truth.
"Ok, Mommy, I'm sorry," was his immediate response, "I don't want to go to my room."
Thinking we were finally getting somewhere I said, "Ok, then, you need to tell the truth. Did you play with the blinds?"
"No, I didn't."
After I sent Drew to his room, I sat downstairs, blown away at the strength of his instinct for self-preservation. As soon as he told that first lie, he was committed--if he wanted to avoid admitting wrongdoing, he had to stick with his story, whether it made any sense or not. Sadly, the longer he stuck with it, the further it led him away from reconciliation with me, his loving mom.
How silly of him, I thought, to think that I wouldn't know he was lying. And to cling so long to the notion that denying his guilt would work out better for him than just admitting it.
How often, though, do we try to pull the same ridiculously futile stunt with God? We try to cover up our selfish motives, hide our secret sins, sometimes even boldly lying to His face. And, let's be totally honest here, we get ourselves in the same sin cycle Drew was in -- committed to a course of action that can only lead us away from our Heavenly Father, but unable or unwilling to come clean. Even though we're totally miserable, we somehow convince ourselves admitting the truth will be even worse.
This morning in church we read the following Scripture:
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, " I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"
--and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may found;
surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.
You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
(Psalm 32:1-7)
Our natural instinct when we are ashamed is to cover ourselves (think Adam and Eve in the garden). But only when we make ourselves naked and vulnerable before God can he clothe us with his righteousness. How it must break God's heart to watch us "wasting away" with guilt and shame, when all we need to do is acknowledge our sin and he will not only forgive us, but become our very hiding place.
When I went up to Drew's room yesterday and he finally confessed, told me the truth and apologized, I told him that there was nothing he could ever do that telling his dad and I the truth wouldn't be better than lying. I got tears in my eyes as I said it because I realized just how true that statement was, and what it implied as Drew grows up: there is nothing he could do that would cause us to love him any less. If he is dishonest with us, it breaks our trust and creates a very real chasm in our relationship. But if he confesses, we want nothing more than to forgive and restore the relationship.
How much more does our Heavenly Father desire to be merciful with us?
Yesterday I walked into the dining room to see the blinds raised all the way to the top. We never leave them this way, so I asked Drew if he had been playing with the blinds (he knows he is not supposed to do this). "No," he responded, casually, "I didn't do it." I questioned him again but he stuck to his story. Now, there are only four people in our family: I knew I hadn't done it, it certainly wasn't the baby, and a quick trip upstairs to check in with daddy confirmed he was innocent as well. I confronted Drew with this logic. His only response: "I don't know, Mommy. I didn't do it."
Now I could really care less about the blinds. We have a rule and try to keep it consistent for safety reasons, but had he admitted his guilt at the first question, I probably would have simply reminded him the blinds were off-limits and left it at that.
Lying, on the other hand, is another deal altogether. So I stood him in front of me, told him I knew he was lying and that lying was not tolerated in this family, and then said that he would need to go to his room until he was ready to tell me the truth.
"Ok, Mommy, I'm sorry," was his immediate response, "I don't want to go to my room."
Thinking we were finally getting somewhere I said, "Ok, then, you need to tell the truth. Did you play with the blinds?"
"No, I didn't."
After I sent Drew to his room, I sat downstairs, blown away at the strength of his instinct for self-preservation. As soon as he told that first lie, he was committed--if he wanted to avoid admitting wrongdoing, he had to stick with his story, whether it made any sense or not. Sadly, the longer he stuck with it, the further it led him away from reconciliation with me, his loving mom.
How silly of him, I thought, to think that I wouldn't know he was lying. And to cling so long to the notion that denying his guilt would work out better for him than just admitting it.
How often, though, do we try to pull the same ridiculously futile stunt with God? We try to cover up our selfish motives, hide our secret sins, sometimes even boldly lying to His face. And, let's be totally honest here, we get ourselves in the same sin cycle Drew was in -- committed to a course of action that can only lead us away from our Heavenly Father, but unable or unwilling to come clean. Even though we're totally miserable, we somehow convince ourselves admitting the truth will be even worse.
This morning in church we read the following Scripture:
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, " I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"
--and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may found;
surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.
You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
(Psalm 32:1-7)
Our natural instinct when we are ashamed is to cover ourselves (think Adam and Eve in the garden). But only when we make ourselves naked and vulnerable before God can he clothe us with his righteousness. How it must break God's heart to watch us "wasting away" with guilt and shame, when all we need to do is acknowledge our sin and he will not only forgive us, but become our very hiding place.
When I went up to Drew's room yesterday and he finally confessed, told me the truth and apologized, I told him that there was nothing he could ever do that telling his dad and I the truth wouldn't be better than lying. I got tears in my eyes as I said it because I realized just how true that statement was, and what it implied as Drew grows up: there is nothing he could do that would cause us to love him any less. If he is dishonest with us, it breaks our trust and creates a very real chasm in our relationship. But if he confesses, we want nothing more than to forgive and restore the relationship.
How much more does our Heavenly Father desire to be merciful with us?
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Surprised by God
Ok, so at the risk of sounding like a wacko right from the start, I have to tell you a story.
The first thing you need to know is that God has been working on my relationship with food as of late. I have some significant weight to lose and have known for some time that food is an idol in my life. This spring God is helping me to realize my true freedom in Christ and through obedience to Him, I'm learning to approach food in a healthier way.
The second thing you need to know is that a few weeks ago I damaged one of my husband's most prized and valuable possessions and didn't tell him. Now, this is not something I habitually do--in fact, I don't remember ever keeping something even relatively minor like this from him for any period of time. But...he was extremely stressed with end-of-semester grading and committee work at the time and I knew the particular circumstances surrounding the damage would probably send him over the edge. So, I didn't tell him.
My husband is a scientist and definitely the most observant (read: anal) person I've ever met. For the first 24 hours after the incident I literally held my breath every time he walked past the object in question. To my utter amazement, he didn't notice anything wrong. I felt horrid --guilty, deceitful, and afraid--but I convinced myself that it was for his sake that I wasn't telling him -- it was just such terrible timing. As hours turned into days and days turned into weeks, and still he hadn't noticed anything, I began to convince myself that perhaps it wasn't that big of deal after all. And eventually, to be honest, I pretty much forgot all about it.
Meanwhile, I've really been working on this whole eating thing (basically just eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full -- duh, right?). But even as I felt much freer from that desire to overeat, and knew I was eating significantly less food, I hadn't lost any weight (after an intial loss of 6 pounds in just a couple of weeks). I was trying to be patient and trust that the weight loss would come if I just focused on obedience in this area, but part of me knew that I was holding something back.
So anyway, last night during my devotions several things (my bible reading, some stuff going on in our community, my own reflections about this whole food issue) converged to bring me to a point of deep repentance before God. For the first time in a long time I really felt the pain of choosing to put my trust in other things before God and got truly repentant--I put it all on the table. As I was praying and talking to God, he reminded me of the incident and the fact that I had yet to be honest with my husband. And then he revealed to me, clear as anything, that I had stopped losing weight right around the same time I had started witholding the truth from Brad. Even though I thought this revelation was from God, I didn't know if I really believed there was a correlation between the two things. I even had the gall to argue with God that at this point it might just be better not to tell Brad about it at all. Finally, I asked God to show me a sign: if this really was the deal, and if he was asking me to now be honest with my husband, when I got on the scale in the morning I would have lost weight. (Remember, I had not lost even a fraction of a pound in almost a month.) As soon as I made the request, I regretted it. It seemed like such a ridiculous thing to do. I knew deep down I needed to be honest with Brad, I didn't need a sign to tell me that, right? Besides, now that I'd asked for the sign, if God didn't respond, I'd probably think I was off the hook. And, if he did, well--I think I didn't really believe that would happen, but if it did, then I really would have to obey and tell Brad--and I wasn't thrilled about that, either.
Oh me of little faith! This morning I nervously got on the scale and wouldn't you know, I had lost more than a pound since just the day before. Why does it surprise me when God proves He is listening and active in my life? I say that I believe to my core that this is true, but then, when he shows it so tangibly I'm almost always surprised. Anyway, now I had to follow through and talk to Brad. As I showered and got ready for a work day, I prayed that God would give me the courage to tell him the truth and that He would prepare Brad to be merciful and understanding.
Thinking I would wait until after work (my parents were watching the boys and I didn't want a scene if he got upset) I headed out to the garage to get in my car, but found myself stopping to study the damaged object before I drove off. My husband, who for almost a month had seemed completely blind to this damage, suddenly saw me from the kitchen window and said, "Hey, what's wrong?" I had to just laugh. God was not going to let me procrastinate until after work! I called Brad out to the garage right then and told him the whole story. He smiled, gave me a hug and said, "Oh, I can fix that."
God's ways are indeed higher than ours.
The first thing you need to know is that God has been working on my relationship with food as of late. I have some significant weight to lose and have known for some time that food is an idol in my life. This spring God is helping me to realize my true freedom in Christ and through obedience to Him, I'm learning to approach food in a healthier way.
The second thing you need to know is that a few weeks ago I damaged one of my husband's most prized and valuable possessions and didn't tell him. Now, this is not something I habitually do--in fact, I don't remember ever keeping something even relatively minor like this from him for any period of time. But...he was extremely stressed with end-of-semester grading and committee work at the time and I knew the particular circumstances surrounding the damage would probably send him over the edge. So, I didn't tell him.
My husband is a scientist and definitely the most observant (read: anal) person I've ever met. For the first 24 hours after the incident I literally held my breath every time he walked past the object in question. To my utter amazement, he didn't notice anything wrong. I felt horrid --guilty, deceitful, and afraid--but I convinced myself that it was for his sake that I wasn't telling him -- it was just such terrible timing. As hours turned into days and days turned into weeks, and still he hadn't noticed anything, I began to convince myself that perhaps it wasn't that big of deal after all. And eventually, to be honest, I pretty much forgot all about it.
Meanwhile, I've really been working on this whole eating thing (basically just eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full -- duh, right?). But even as I felt much freer from that desire to overeat, and knew I was eating significantly less food, I hadn't lost any weight (after an intial loss of 6 pounds in just a couple of weeks). I was trying to be patient and trust that the weight loss would come if I just focused on obedience in this area, but part of me knew that I was holding something back.
So anyway, last night during my devotions several things (my bible reading, some stuff going on in our community, my own reflections about this whole food issue) converged to bring me to a point of deep repentance before God. For the first time in a long time I really felt the pain of choosing to put my trust in other things before God and got truly repentant--I put it all on the table. As I was praying and talking to God, he reminded me of the incident and the fact that I had yet to be honest with my husband. And then he revealed to me, clear as anything, that I had stopped losing weight right around the same time I had started witholding the truth from Brad. Even though I thought this revelation was from God, I didn't know if I really believed there was a correlation between the two things. I even had the gall to argue with God that at this point it might just be better not to tell Brad about it at all. Finally, I asked God to show me a sign: if this really was the deal, and if he was asking me to now be honest with my husband, when I got on the scale in the morning I would have lost weight. (Remember, I had not lost even a fraction of a pound in almost a month.) As soon as I made the request, I regretted it. It seemed like such a ridiculous thing to do. I knew deep down I needed to be honest with Brad, I didn't need a sign to tell me that, right? Besides, now that I'd asked for the sign, if God didn't respond, I'd probably think I was off the hook. And, if he did, well--I think I didn't really believe that would happen, but if it did, then I really would have to obey and tell Brad--and I wasn't thrilled about that, either.
Oh me of little faith! This morning I nervously got on the scale and wouldn't you know, I had lost more than a pound since just the day before. Why does it surprise me when God proves He is listening and active in my life? I say that I believe to my core that this is true, but then, when he shows it so tangibly I'm almost always surprised. Anyway, now I had to follow through and talk to Brad. As I showered and got ready for a work day, I prayed that God would give me the courage to tell him the truth and that He would prepare Brad to be merciful and understanding.
Thinking I would wait until after work (my parents were watching the boys and I didn't want a scene if he got upset) I headed out to the garage to get in my car, but found myself stopping to study the damaged object before I drove off. My husband, who for almost a month had seemed completely blind to this damage, suddenly saw me from the kitchen window and said, "Hey, what's wrong?" I had to just laugh. God was not going to let me procrastinate until after work! I called Brad out to the garage right then and told him the whole story. He smiled, gave me a hug and said, "Oh, I can fix that."
God's ways are indeed higher than ours.
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