Practicing Obedience

I have so very many blog posts spinning around in my head. That's what happens when you don't blog for months at a time, I suppose. So, the best cure for that, I suppose, would be to pick something and talk about it, huh?

Ok, here goes.

So I'm leading our women's bible study this year as we work through Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself (a study of the fruit of the Spirit). I cannot tell you what a blessing this has been for me.

Our bible study is an ecumenical group sponsored by our church. The women are of all ages and stages of life, and we meet once a week on Wednesday mornings for prayer and study. We have a wonderful leader who does all the organizational tasks for the group and leads our prayer time, but usually we've taken turns -- on a week by week basis -- leading the discussions.

This summer a small committee consisting of myself, our leader Barbara, and another woman named Evelyn (who is one of the godliest women I know) were charged with choosing what we would study this academic year. We had decided we were going to spend the first 6 weeks on a study of prayer led by Barbara, and then had narrowed our choices for the remainder of the year down to either the Beth Moore study OR a study on the book of James. We decided to each spend time doing the studies and praying for God's direction and then meet again to make a decision. I spent time with both studies and prayed and prayed for God to reveal which one we should do. I got no answers. Not an inkling of direction about which one we should do. What I did get was this very quiet feeling that if we chose the Beth Moore study, I should lead the discussions.

At first I didn't trust that it was even from God -- how could He ask me to do this? I had my hands absolutely full juggling two part-time jobs and a family, I didn't need another responsibility right now. But the more I prayed about it, the more sure I became that this is what God was saying to me. Then the insecurities began: Who am I to think that they would even want me to lead every week? Many of those women already have to deal with me leading worship at church, they're probably sick to death of me! Who do I think I am, anyway? But God was insistent: IF we decided to do the Beth Moore study, I at least needed to volunteer to lead it.

So, eventually the three of us gathered at Barbara's house to make our decision. After prayer and some discussion of other logistical issues, Barbara posed the question: did we know which study we should do? I sat perfectly still, not about to utter a word. Didn't have to -- Evelyn immediately responded with, "Well, I do! We're supposed to do Beth Moore - the fruit of the Spirit." I winced. (I really did!) And then I muttered, almost begrudgingly, "Well, you should know that God told me if we did this study I was supposed to lead it." Almost immediately tears sprang into Evelyn's eyes. Turns out that as God revealed to her that we should do the Beth Moore study, he also put it on her heart to pray that someone would volunteer to lead it. Now if that ain't the Holy Spirit at work, I just don't know what is.

Needless to say, I was now committed to leading this study. Which was all well and good, because after all, God had gone to some lengths to orchestrate the whole thing and I felt pretty certain He was up to something. But still, I was now going to have to actually lead the bible study. And that meant time and effort and energy to prepare and all that stuff that I didn't think I had any extra of, right?

And that's where the real miracle happens. Because I started praying right away -- and so did Barbara and Evelyn, thank goodness -- that God would equip me to do what He had called me to do. I told God right from the start that this was His idea and I was happy to go along with it, but He would have to just do it through me.

And, let me just tell you, that's exactly what He did. Now usually I'm not so good at getting out of God's way and letting Him do His thing -- I usually like to get right in there with my own little schemes and plans and quickly relegate Him to offering occasional wise counsel and emergency rescue. But, in this particular case, He really didn't give me any choice in the matter. This was His plan and He would see it through.

And, ladies and gentlemen, I have never been so blessed. Never once has this felt like a burden. The time I have spent studying the lessons has been transformational. And the time I've spent preparing to lead the discussion has been nothing but rewarding. Every single week God has directed me so clearly as to what we should discuss and how we should spend our time. It's been such a precious time of hearing and discerning His voice -- and practicing obedience to it. It hasn't been stressful, it hasn't been exhausting, it hasn't been taxing. In fact, it's been just the opposite: it's been refreshing, exhilirating, sometimes even downright fun. Now, this doesn't mean that every discussion has gone perfectly well or been a complete success. Not at all. But God has taken my somewhat reluctant willingness to be obedient in this small matter, and given me back so much more than I could have ever hoped or dreamed.

Jesus says, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11: 30) This isn't to say that everything God asks of you is going to be a piece of cake -- or that you won't suffer. After all, Jesus also says, "Take up your cross and follow Me." But it is to say this: submission to God's plan brings immeasurable joy, blessing, freedom and peace. I want to keep doing what God asks me to do -- keep saying "yes!" to God--because I want to know in the rest of my life the peaceful rest in God's leadership and provision that I've experienced in leading this bible study . I know, oh how well do I know, what happens when I say "no" to God. And this, my friends, this peace in acknowledging the authority of God, no matter how much it costs, is just so much better.

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc.

In the interest of moving beyond Halloween, I present, drumroll please....a new post. Really, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Or later. Or later.

I'm not about to recap the last 3 months of our lives, so we'll be moving on from here. BUT...I do want to record one funny Drew story from Christmas for posterity's sake.

Here it is:

It's Saturday morning, Dec. 23rd and we're preparing for the Torkelson Christmas celebration to be held later that day. Drew and his daddy went off to Target to find Mommy a Christmas present (Mommy, miracle of miracles, had all of her presents bought and wrapped already, thank you very much!). They returned home and Drew walked past the bathroom where I was getting ready (yes, it was almost noon and yes, I was just getting out of the shower -- oh, the joys of vacation!) I said, "Hi Drew!" and immediately he replied, with a great deal of vigor, "I'm NOT going to tell you the surprise!"

"Oh, of course, not." I replied, calmly. (Unlike his father, I enjoy being surprised and was not about to pry anything out of him.)

"BUT," he continued, as if he hadn't even heard me, "I WILL tell you (big dramatic pause) they've got REINDEER on them!"

"Ok," I said, trying to hide my smile. "But don't tell me any more."

He shook his head, like of course, he wouldn't say anymore and then promptly proclaimed, ever so dramatically, "Well, I'm NOT going to tell you they're slippers!"

Priceless.

Happy Halloween

from the frog......and the fireman!

Trick or treat!!!

Great Day for some M & M's

8 am yesterday morning:
It's a non-preschool, non-work day, so we're taking it easy. I'm still in my pjs, folding clothes in the living room while the boys play .

All of the sudden Drew says, "I need to go outside quick."

"Now?" I ask, looking at the clock.

"Yeah," he says, "I need to get something to give you."

"Ok," I say, somewhat puzzled, "Put your shoes and your sweatshirt on."

A few minutes later, he comes back in looking a little concerned.

"Mom," he asks, "Where are all the dandelions?"

I can't help smiling. "Well, it's October, Drew. The dandelions are all gone now."

(Brad would want me to insert here that we never really had any dandelions in our yard. The neighbors yes, but not us. Well, maybe a few in early spring, but he promptly eradicated them. Very promptly.)

Drew, however, doesn't care about our beautifully lush green lawn. He's crushed. Tears start to well in his eyes. "I wanted to give you dandelions, Mommy!"

"Well," I say, "you could find me a pretty leaf. There are lots of leaves on the lawn."

He covers his face with his hands. "But I want it to be a surprise!!"

"Oh, I'll be surprised," I assure him.

And with that he's out the door, in search of leaf.

Needless to say, I'll still have that crumpled brown leaf when he gets married.



1pm:

We're on our way home from Wal-mart and Drew is sitting in the back of the van, sharing a bag of M&M's with his good friend, Sarah.

He looks out the window at the cold, grey October sky and exclaims with a satisfied sigh, "What a beautiful day for some M&Ms!"

I couldn't agree more.


4pm:

I'm madly putting away laundry and picking up the house so I can feel like I've accomplished something before feeding the kids dinner and handing them off to Brad so I can get to worship team practice.

Drew comes into my room and looks at me imploringly. "Will you play a game with me?"

"Not now, sweetheart. I've got to get the house picked up." In my defense, we had just finished three rounds of Sequence for Kids. (I emerged the champion, in case you were wondering. It never happens, so it's ok that I gloat.)

"Will you play pets with me?" He persists, referring to a bagful of beanie babies his Bestemor gave him. "You can be the mommy and I'll be the son."

Sensing an opportunity, I grabbed him, gave him a hug, and said, jokingly, "I have an idea. Why don't we pretend that I'm the mommy and you're the little boy and I have to pick up the house and put away laundry, so you have to take care of the pets."

Drew, dead serious, says, "Ok!!" and trots off to find his animals.

UPDATE: Today I pick Drew up from school and as I'm helping him into the van he says, "Hey mom, when we get home can we play that game where you're the mom and I'm the kid and you're busy so I have to take care of the pets?" Hmmm..I might get my dusting done after all.

Liam's Birthday Bash

Well, in the interest of equal press, I figured I better get some pictures up of Liam's birthday party.

We didn't manage to get both families together this time, so this is the Chamberlain version -- the Torkelson edition will be held at a date yet to be determined. (I'm a little afraid it won't happen until Thanksgiving weekend, but whatever -- he's one, give him cake and he'll be happy!)

It was an absolutely beautiful day and we were so excited to able to eat out on the deck (something we've never been able to do for Drew's birthday as it's inevitably the hottest day of July).



Our excitement was somewhat short-lived-- midway through our meal we were swarmed by bees and had to move inside.

Nevertheless, a great time was had by all!


Liam got lots of "help" opening his presents...and playing with his presents, too, actually! Such is the fate of the deuce.

He didn't have to share his cake, though!

Cherishing that Childish Chatter

I've been doing a little surfing in the blogosphere lately and have come across several new fun/interesting blogs. Today, I was checking out the archives at BooMama and came across this post. Except for the first part about not wanting to have kids, I could relate to the entire thing--from thinking of those four days in the hospital as the sweetest of my life, to having a pretty easygoing baby, to wanting to pull my hair out when he was two and a half and talking non-stop--and why is it always worse in the car?

For Drew, it was the questions--or, more precisely, the questions with no answers--that drove me crazy:

Him: "Where is that guy going?" (referring to a man seen walking on the sidewalk as we drive down main street)
Me: "I don't know."
Him: "What's his name? (still referring to said man)
Me: "I don't know."
Him: "But where's he going?"
Me: (we've been here already!) "I don't know."
Him: "Do you think he's going to the toy store?"
Me: (I highly doubt it.) "Maybe."
Him: "Can WE go to the toy store?
Me: (at last, one I can answer!) "No, not today."
Him: "But why?"
Me: "We need to go to Fareway."
Him: "Maybe he's going to Fareway."
Me: (big sigh) "Maybe, Drew...maybe."

Drew, at four, is still a talker and, being a very curious child, is still an asker of many questions. But now, for the most part I can answer them. Or refer him to his father. We do still get caught up in some doozies though. About a month ago this was our cartime conversation:

Him: "Mom, why is the furniture store not there anymore?"
Me: "Because it moved to a new building."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Because they needed more space."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Because they wanted to be able to have more furniture."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "So they can sell more furniture."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "So they can make more money."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "I guess so they can buy more stuff."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Well, that's a good question."

Still somewhat exhausting,yes, but at least a little more thought-provoking.

And more often than not, our conversations now are funny, interesting and engaging. This week our car talks have ranged from a discussion of sin and why Jesus had to die on the cross to Drew's plan for what kind of house he'll live in when he's an adult, how many kids he'll have and what their names will be (wood house when he has babies, then a brick house when they get older; two kids; a girl named Britta and a boy named Naomi--"not Naomi Elizabeth, that's a girl's name, just Naomi"). Now that's good stuff.

And if he's this interesting at four, I can't imagine the great dialogue we'll have at 8 and 12 and 18. Kind of makes all that obnoxious chattering worth it, doesn't it?!

"I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing!"

We took Liam out for a little birthday (pan)cake this morning. He definitely knows how to celebrate!