...And SomeBody's Child

In this morning's sermon, our pastor challenged us to find our identity not in our various roles--mom, wife, worship leader--but in Christ. Among other things, he talked about the subtle difference between identifying yourself as a nurse (for example) that's a Christian, versus a follower of Christ that happens to be a nurse. I was convicted.

I used to be a teacher and I absolutely loved it. It was my calling--and my whole identity. In fact, it blows me away that there are people that know me now that don't even know that I taught--it was such a huge part of who I was for so long. When God led me to take a non-teaching job in the community in which we now live, I went through a deep mourning period, not just for the absolutely ideal job I had to leave when we moved, but also for my very identity. Without teaching, I didn't know who I was.

I have said numerous times that I'm so glad God took me through that period before I got pregnant. I knew that I would quit teaching when I had my first baby, and I would have hated to have that identity crisis all tied up in becoming a mom. God graciously led me through the process of giving up that part of my life (at least for now) 2 years before I had Drew so that when he arrived I was able to joyfully embrace a new role as mom with an undivided heart.

Anyway, as I sat there this morning listening to the sermon, I realized that while I am now able to identify myself as mom and wife first and that might seem like I've gotten my priorities straightened out, I'm still really missing the boat. Even though making my family first on my list seems noble, in reality I've just exchanged one misplaced identity for another.

The truth is this: unless my primary identity is in Christ, my life will inevitably be off-balance. For instance, if my whole identity is in being Drew and Liam's mom, I'm going to parent them in a way that affirms my role: baby them so that I always feel needed, or push them to be super-kids so my sacrifice is validated by their successes, or at the very least, be a terribly overbearing mother-in-law! :) If, on the other hand, my identity is in being a worship leader, I'm going to put church work before my family, cater to the whims of every member of the congregation that lodges a complaint, or foster a prideful performance-based atmosphere.

It is only when my identity is solely grounded in the fact that I am a new creation in Christ that I can be truly free to parent with my children's best interest in mind, be the kind of wife my husband needs and serve my church, workplace and community to God's glory and not my own.

So...in hindsight, maybe I should have titled my blog Somebody's Child.